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3rd-Mar-2012 11:16 pm - A hero's death?
dead genesis
Genesis went to the mall first. He stood on a hill, overlooking the smoldering remains of the retail giant. The gentle breeze blew wisps of smoke in his direction. He paused for a time in thought.

"If I were a monster..." he muttered to himself.

He intended to follow the path of Sephiroth's destruction, but Genesis could see no trail leading from the mall. He knew that Sephiroth would most likely head to one of the cities next, but which one? Unless he could see an path, or guess his foe's intentions, he would be wandering blindly. He needed to act quickly and decisively, or Sephiroth's trail could go cold, giving him time to rest and recover in some pit somewhere.

Genesis clenched his fist. He'd waited too long already, missed too many opportunities. He would not let another chance at a confrontation pass him by. He headed East, towards Calamity. Perhaps Calamity would remind Sephiroth of Midgar, of Shinra, and all the horrible memories from that time. Perhaps those memories would inspire Sephiroth to attack there next. It was nothing more than a guess, but it was all Genesis had at the moment.

He moved quickly eastward, never stopping, never slowing. As he neared Calamity, he was nearly struck with a blast of pure dark energy. He spun around to face his enemy, hoping desperately that it was Sephiroth. He was disappointed to see Cloud of Darkness hovering behind him, her tentacles writhing.

"And where are you headed?" she asked.

"I have neither the time nor the patience to deal with you," Genesis said. "Leave me be. Bother some other poor soul."

Genesis turned and headed back towards Calamity, but Cloud of Darkness swooped over his head and cut him off.

"Your time and patience are irrelevant to us," Cloud of Darkness said. "You will listen to us, regardless."

Enraged, Genesis threw a bolt of lightning at Cloud of Darkness. She disappeared in a black cloud, and the shot sped off into the distance. Cloud of Darkness reappeared a moment later.

"Hag," Genesis said. "Step aside."

"Your petty feud with the one called Sephiroth must end," Cloud of Darkness said. "It serves us no purpose to slay him. Not yet, anyway."

"Your purpose is irrelevant to me," Genesis said, echoing Cloud of Darkness's earlier statement. "You will listen to me."

He fired another bolt of lightning. As he predicted, Cloud of Darkness disappeared to dodge the attack. Genesis leaped forward at the empty air, anticipating her reappearance. As expected, she reappeared in the same spot. Genesis slashed at her with his sword, but again she vanished, leaving Genesis's blade to cut only air.

Mid-air, he spun around and charged another bolt of lightning, expecting her to reappear from behind him. With a puff of black smoke, Cloud of Darkness appeared directly above Genesis. He had only time to look up in surprise before she unleashed a black beam of force downward onto her foe. Genesis raised his arm to shield the blast, but was swallowed whole by the darkness.

Cloud of Darkness slowly lowered herself to the ground. Her feet touched down on the soft grass. The wind swept quietly through the trees and all was still. Cloud of Darkness looked around, then vanished in a puff of black smoke.
2nd-Mar-2012 11:02 pm(no subject)
The ruination of the mall came with a sickening crunch as the spell struck concrete and mortar, debris and screams alike floating into the air. Cackling madly, Sephiroth turned to Wal-Market, watching the waves of energy and ruin level the despicable building into rubble. His heart sang at the sight, a strange hysterical euphoria flooding his mind. More. He wanted more, The cities. Those he could take his time with. Furtively rubbing the Earth materia he'd kept from long years ago, he took off. There was no chance anyone would escape even a taste of his works.
2nd-Mar-2012 10:08 am(no subject)

There’s just something about March. The way the air smells. The way green nervously lingers at the periphery of the ground, waiting for winter to attack once more out of spite before its buds can grow in safety.  The running of the sap. It makes people crazy; some deep-rooted instinct gone by the wayside of pheromone receptors still a silent sub-plot driving even the most reasonable people into sheer madness.

Sephiroth thought this to himself as he pulled into the mall’s parking lot, the dying of his motorcycle’s ruby-throated roar pulling him out of his latest reverie. Sighing coarsely through his nose, the pale man dismounted despite the unfriendly sink in the pit of his stomach that had haunted him since he’d woken hours before. He was used to waking up with a sense of angry dread at the prospect of another day in retail, but today felt different. He couldn’t place how, or why, but it did. Insistently, it screamed that the day would be better spent in bed, doing anything but facing another mind-numbing shift. But generals did not shirk, and gods did not refrain, and he left in spite of himself.

Eyes narrowed in the painfully bright morning, he turned to the mall. Another morning. Another day, soon to become another evening, consumed by endless chatter from endless humans in an endless parade of delusions. Every single person strolling to the mall had an agenda, a script of some sort to follow, heroes in their own minds for completing these quests, and thoughtlessly hauling any hapless shopkeep into their dramas.

His eyebrow twitched at the prospect. Really. A shopkeep. A god, playing at shopkeep. Patrons daring to think themselves equal, challenged to fights as bar bets, even going so low as to be questioned by a drunken jester for not acting on mere id.

There is nothing at all that matters here.

The thought flitted past, a bright streak of yellow against the murk of his mind. A woman passed, her whining child demanding a toy of some sort, his mother shrieking back for silence and order. A bird flew past the looming mall, imposing in its mediocrity. Silently, he and the building stared one another down, Sephiroth’s mind quietly drifting. Why was he there? Not for a sense of duty, or obligation. It was Hell. A shiftless, pointless hell. Stagnant and useless. No purpose, no meaning. No control. 

He barely noticed when he was bumped into, an insult thrown seeming only jumbled noise against the onslaught of mental static. Change. Progress. Progress was impossible without destruction of the old. Destruction, ruin, rebuild. New world order. Happiness. Utopia.

The corner of his lips pressed into his cheeks. After a volcano erupts, the forest grows back twice as thriving. He was the god, they were the traitors, and needed to be put into their place. The place was rotten, dying. It needed replaced. Rebuilt, and made in his image. They’d forgotten his power, his anger. Some said it’d cooled into tepid angst.

Oh, no.

He lifted his eyes again to the building, eyes sharp in surveying his prey. Meteor? Too long; some may try to band together and stop it…Smaller magics, no, not good enough… He grinned lazily as his mind landed on an old friend. Yes. That was perfect. Ideal.

Full of purpose, he hopped back onto his motor bicycle, radio blaring senseless noise as he sped away to a better vantage point. His family would know where not to be; his will was practically dripping in his wake. The surrogate might have, but it didn’t matter. Losses would be cut, the world rebuilt, a better, stronger place. The cool breeze of a nearly-spring morning caught him off guard, a laugh escaping in his delight. Yes, yes! It was all going to be wonderful!

Leaving his bike behind, he stood at a remote cliff, overlooking the hated centre of pointless consumerism, its rival clear and gaudy nearby. Those were to be the first to go. With a mocking bark of laughter, Sephiroth thrust his arm into the air, magic tingling in the air.


24th-Nov-2011 10:51 pm - Black Friday
It's Black Friday at the mall, which means all of your stores are required to have some sort of insane sale with door-buster items (things that are really cheap for x first customers in the door). Customers will be FLOODING the mall and somewhat disorderly, plus the mall is opening at 2 a.m. and all employees are going to be working that shift.
10th-Sep-2011 01:08 pm - Free Samples!
Buisiness is bad. The Paranoia Plague is ending, but it doesn't matter much now since so many customers have taken to either shopping in the department stores and never reaching the smaller stores in the mall, or they've just taken their business to Wal*Market and decided to rob the store, which seemed very happy to help customers out to their cars with the large TVs they never actually purchased. Wal*Market has also been cured of their Trust Epidemic and has since been stepping up their security.

Mallboro Employees: You really need to start changing around your advertising. Unbarricade your stores and find a way to draw those customers back in! NORG's not gonna help you here since the department stores he loves so much are still getting good business. To promote the inner stores, NORG's hench-moomba, Shoe, who is in charge of representing the inner stores and is more symbolic than helpful as he shouts "LAGUNA" during business meetings, has decided that ALL stores give away free samples! NO CHOICE! Doesn't matter what your store is, at least one employee is out in the mall, walking around samples of what your store offers! NO EXCEPTIONS! LAGUNA! NONE!
6th-Aug-2011 03:50 pm - NEW RULES
Well, NORG has gone on another one of his epic drinking benders and won't be back for at LEAST a week, so that leaves me in charge. I was hoping to enact some serious change around here, get some structure, make some improvements, but NORG had the foresight to leave me with a 1,491-point list of things that he wants me to accomplish before he wakes from his alcohol coma. He's also rigged a BOMB TO MALLBORO to make sure that his demands are met. So everyone, you gotta help me out! 1,491 items is just WAY too much for one moomba to handle! Here's a list of some of the things that I need done that I can't do alone. Any help would be appreciated! LAGUNA!

Item #1: All security footage must be preserved, so that NORG can ensure compliance with all the new rules.

Item #14: Replacing the entire Mall floor with one of those giant light-up pianos like from the movie Big.

Item #15: Learn at least three songs for said floor piano and have all employees play those songs every time they step into the halls.

Item #21: Free chocobo rides for all mall shoppers

Item #22: Teach the chocobos how to play chopsticks on the floor piano while people are riding them.

Item #38: Hire a Big Top circus act that incorporates both the chocobos and the floor piano into their act. Elephants are a must.

Item #70: Replace the air in the vents with cotton candy and the water in the fountains with gatorade.

Item #82: Replace the ambient mall music with a loop recording of "The Song that Doesn't End" from Lamb Chop's Play-A-Long. All mall employees must sing along with the words.

Item #106: Mandatory hats. (That's all this one says about that)

Item #142: After two days, release a techno version of "The Song that Doesn't End" and play that instead of the original.

Item #194: Mall security shall be replaced with poorly programmed Terminator T1000's.

Item #202: All employees from the First World are now named "Becky."

Item #203: All employees from the Second World may no longer use their hands to do anything.

Item #204: All employees from the Third World may no longer eat or drink or use the restrooms.

Item #205: All employees from the Fourth World must work double shifts.

Item #206: All employees from the Fifth World may no longer go home. Ever.

Item #207: All employees from the Sixth World must refer to all other people as "You Majesty" and refer to themselves as "Your Humble, Unworthy Servant"

Item #208: All employees from the Seventh World shall speak only in riddles.

Item #209: All employees from the Eighth World must ask permission from people from the Seventh World before performing any task, however mundane.

Item #210: All employees from the Ninth World must offer piggyback rides to all other employees. Other employees MUST accept said piggyback rides.

Item #211: All employees from any world not mentioned above has been promoted to the title of Uber Manager and may pass an rules or regulations they please, so long as they obey all 1,491 of the new rules. Any infraction of the rules strips them of their title and reduces them to cleaning up after the Big Top circus act and their elephants.

Item #250: All cleaning products shall be replaced with silly string.

Item #267: All entrances and exits to the mall shall be guarded by a massive, two-headed dragon who demands either sacrifice, or a test of courage before allowing people to enter/exit the mall. This applies to employees as well.

Item #291: All employees must constantly play Laser Tag. If you tag another employee without getting tagged yourself, you shall receive double pay for that day. If you get tagged, you won't get paid until you tag another employee.

Item #304: Children are the future. Allow them to do whatever they wish, however destructive it may be.

Item #344: Parents are not the future. Regard them with suspicion and question their parenting ability.

Item #380: Replace the security grates outside each store with monkey bars for the children. They are the future.

Item #381: Teach every child to play chopsticks on the floor piano. Have fun doing so every single time you do this.Not having fun will result in punishment.

Item #442: All employees must ask a magic 8-ball before they may take a break. They must wait a minimum of 1 hour after each negative response before they may ask again.

Item #461: All cash registers must be replaced with wooden boxes, and all math must be done on slide rules.

Item #499: Take a picture of yourself every five minutes, then upload the picture with a happy caption, showing how much you love working at Mallboro.

Item #523: All employees with an even number of letters in their names must obey the wishes of those with odd numbers in their names.

Item #550: All stores must sell shoes.

Item #600: The store with the most children in it shall be the King Store and be exempt from all the rules, except those rules that pertain to children.

Item #611: The store with the least number of children in it must perform all even-numbered rules twice.

Item #612: All currency shall be replaced with Monopoly money. Employees shall be paid in Monopoly money as well.

Item #628: You cannot take out a loan on a pregnant pig without marrying her first. (Any clue what this means, guys?)

Item #646: All stores are now food stores. They don't have to sell food, but they must be food stores.

Item #647: All food stores must sell ramen.

Item #670: Stores that have one or more computers on the premises are now Copy Stores.

Item #672: Stores that have more than two employees are now Music Stores.

Item #675: Stores that have a "A" in the name are now public parks.

Item #676: Stores that are on the second floor are now Electronics Stores

Item #670: If a store meets multiple criteria for being another store, then it must be all those stores simultaneously. It is possible to have a Food/Copy/Music/Public Park/Electronics Store.

Item #681: Public Parks are forbidden to charge money for their good and services. They must only barter.

Item #685: Electronics Stores must wage war with Music Stores. The only weapons allowed are foam swords.

Item #686: Whoever captures Uganda is the winner. (I'm just giving you an example of one of the many rules that don't make sense. I'm skipping most of them)

Item #690: Copy Stores must own a pet shark. It shall be named "Skippy."

Item #721: Public Parks shall be the default sleeping place for children, the homeless, and the Big Top circus performers.

Item #760: Electronics Stores that are also Music Stores get bonus EXP. They must still wage war with themselves.

Item #789: Every day at noon, employees of Public Parks must distribute baskets of hand sanitizer to the other stores.

Item #790: Public Parks that are also Electronics Stores are exempt from Item #789

Item #800: Food Stores that are not Public Parks can opt to become Airports.

Item #801: Employees at airports are exempt from most rules (except the rules that no stores are exempt from), so long as all employees make airplane noises and hold their arms out like wings.

Item #804: All stores with a pet shark must also have a pet chocobo.

Item #809: Food Stores that are just Food Stores and nothing else make opt to become Dungeons.

Item #810: Dungeons are cool.

Item #811: Stores that are not Dungeons may become Outsourced Customer Service Booths if a Dungeon allows it.

Item #824: Copy Stores must obey the Dungeons.

Item #825: Dungeons must obey the Airports.

Item #856: Employees at Dungeons can skip rules 100 to 300 if they wear sweet chain mail to work.

Item #857: Stores without pet sharks shall judge employees at dungeons to determine how "sweet" their chain mail is. If it's not sweet enough, they are not exempt from any rules.

Item #877: Employees that are exempt from any rule are also exempt from this rule.

Item #878: Employees that are exempt from Item #877 cannot own pet sharks.

Item #879: Employees that are NOT exempt from Item #877 cannot work at Public Parks.

Item #901: Electronics Stores can become Lamp Stores if they sell a computer.

Item #904: Lamp Stores can order around Airports, so long as the Lamp Store obeys the Dungeons.

Item #933: Lamp Stores can print their own money (Monopoly Money), so long as they are not also Public Parks, do not own Pet Sharks, and as long as none of their employees are exempt from Item #877.

Item #945: Idioms are for idiots. You did not "run" to the store. You drove there.

Item #961: Employees who have ever worked for a Copy Store (even before it was a Copy Store) are exempt from this rule.

Item #962: Employees who are exempt from Item #961 and #877 are exempt from Item #810.

Item #977: If you fill out the proper paperwork and promise to not be exempt from any rules, then you may become a Taxi Driver.

Item #978: Taxi Drivers cannot work in Public Parks.

Item #979: Taxi Drivers cannot own pet sharks.

Item #980: Taxi Drivers are exempt from Item #550.

Item #981: Taxi Drivers who work for Copy Stores may become Racecar Drivers.

Item #982: Racecar Drivers are better than Taxi Drivers.

Item #983: Racecar Drivers can print their own money, so long as they have never worked for a store that can print their own money.

Item #984: Racecar Drivers can own pet sharks and bring them to stores that do not own pet sharks. That store will become subject to all the rules involved with pet shark ownership.The store title will not change, though.

Item #985: Racecar Drivers may ignore all rules pertaining to children... if they want to be really mean.

Item #986: A Lamp Store that has never hired any Racecar Drivers can become a Deluxe.

Item #998: Deluxe Stores must obey all the rules of all other stores, but can also win prizes.

Item #1,045: Deluxe Stores will receive all the praise whenever anything good happens to Mallboro, even if the Deluxe store had nothing to do with it.

Item #1,054: All other stores must maintain a constant supply of piping-hot Sleepytime Tea to all Deluxe Stores, unless the Deluxe Store opts out of this treatment, at which point the Deluxe Store becomes exempt from Item #612.


And the rest are all gibberish.

9th-Jun-2011 08:54 pm - Wal-Market: Grand Opening
Greetings, everybody! It seems that everybody is heading straight toward that new mall, Mallboro. Good and fine, I suppose, if you want to make that long, hard journey. I know, you want to whoard all those cool goodies, but consider this, ladies and transvestites! There is a new shop in town. Which town? All towns! Yes, it's my new store, Wal-Market! It's everywhere! We have at least one store in every single city! That's right, there's locations in Calamity, Prosperity, Nirvana, and even Augury! Our stores are big! Huge! Firm! Supple! You'll never find a store as sexy as this one!

So before you go for that weak, flaccid mall, consider the ever-growing empire of Wal-Market! We have everything for low prices! So low you'd think you were taking advantage of us!


And hey, I know what you're thinking. "I love you(r store) so much, is there any possible way I can work there? Please oh please, I'm on my knees, begging you!" Well worry not, my lovies! Here at Wal-Market, we have tons of openings to fill! We hire a vast diversity of people: hotties, skanks, uggies, tall chickies, short chickies, bustily blessed, and even men! Yes, everybody (but mostly women)! With your help, we'll go down on the competition (is that how that saying goes? hohihohi).


I know what you're thinking. "When I shop at these prices that even a cheap-ho could afford, I tend to get really hungry." Well, now you can have the convenience of eating out while you stay in! That's right, there is a fast-food chain located right inside! So come chow down at our McDoned's fast food restaurant! And again, we have more openings than you can even imagine, so inquire within for an...application ;)

Wal-Market. Come on down today! Don't get pounded from behind by high prices! Come to Wal-Market where we treat you right!
9th-Jun-2011 08:27 pm - Grand Opening
The mall is officially open! Your stores have been constructed and now, finally, the Grand Opening for the mall has begun! There are several new stores, so please check them out and see where you would like to work (if you would like to work). Find yourself a job among the NPC or PC stores (remember: you have to request employment from the owner of PC stores).

In addition to finding jobs for yourselves, please note that only NPCs that own stores have been placed, so feel free to place any NPCs where you would like them to work. Store owners, pick your entire line-up! The rest of you, feel free to place any NPCs, even if you don't play them (so if you want to place Rinoa at The Group Room, just say so and she's there!). You can also pick some of your co-workers if you're at an NPC store. Comment here to place yourselves and your friends.

This week is the big Grand Opening, so kick it off with a bang! Currently, people are flocking to the mall to see what this thing is all about. A store full of stores!? They're totally digging it! Don't get overloaded, get your employee roster together asap and start posting about this crazy opening week!
4th-Jun-2011 12:46 pm - Mall is Open
It's a gigantic event for the entire Chaos Realm! NORG has opened the first ever shopping mall! Well, everybody else thinks it's the first one ever, anyway! There is an all new, two-story mall, which you can find the floor plan in the mall directory. There are several new department stores opening along with those pathetic small stores.

Yeah, unfortunately, NORG sees great profit from all the new department stores, but very little from the small stores, so he has taken a hands-off approach to those small stores, allowing them to rise or fall depending on their own individual success. He has mandated that several Garden Faculty Members will scour the mall to ensure that the small stores are not defying any of NORG's general policies, which basically means that they are not harming mall patrons (scaring off business) or...well, that's about it. The GFM also occasionally try to demote small businesses when NORG feels that any one store is becoming too powerful and taking away business from the department stores. For more information about Mallboro, check the updated locations.

Your Task:

MANAGERS: If you are creating your own business, then your first order is to check the mall directory and find a location for your store. Locations are first come, first served. In a couple days, the stores missing a location will be provided one, so please act quickly. After finding a location, you may begin to hire employees. While there is not a maximum nor minimum for how many you hire, it is recommended that you have 4-6 employees per store.

In addition, I have found an awesome site to play with: http://www.dressupgames.com/shops.html At this site, you can create a store using their somewhat difficult-to-learn interface. I recommend "Store Maker," "Mini Mall Maker," and "Shopping Mall Maker." If you would like to design your store here, then you can send me the image (either by saving it and sending it or by just taking a print screen) and I will add it to the mall directory.

EMPLOYEES: If you are wanting to work at Mallboro, then apply for a job by either taking a position at an NPC store or a Player-owned store by contacting its owner. Remember: all positions at NPC stores will be automatically accepted, but player-owned stores have the right to hire or deny employment to anybody. Your character can work at any of the department stores or at the movie theater, but there will never be a player that owns these stores, nor will they ever go out of business.

What's Left:

The reboot is basically complete at this point. I have one more trick up my sleeve, plus we will begin to put The Arena and Blitzball back together soon.
28th-May-2011 08:05 pm - Help Wanted

A new shopping mall is opening up that is open to all residents of all cities! People of Calamity, Prosperity, Augury, and Nirvana no longer need to only buy products manufactured by their own societies. Malls are popular locations for buying just about anything you want, plus you get to hang out with your friends. So what does this mall need? You! To work there!

If you are interested in opening a shop in the new mall, please comment here with your store idea and you might be approved for a management position at the mall!

OOC: Many of the old stores will be re-opening, like Sprint Shoes and The Group Room. But if you have either a new store or you're interested in re-opening the same store you opened before (like Jecht's Blah Blah Emporium), then leave a comment. We'll get to the specifics of placement in the mall at a later date. And again, remember that returning characters are fully aware that there was already a shopping mall in the days of before, but the native residents have no idea what a shopping mall even is.
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